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Sunday, March 28, 2010 10:40:00 AM
Bismillah-ir rahmaan-ir rahiim.  people are starting to call me, emo, sensitive, loner, boring and arrogant. yes i'm miss "no fun" now but you guys never felt the tension that arose in me. it never occur to your head that someone is having a hard time in life because everyone thinks typically that there's always someone else who have faced bigger challenges or perhaps you are in the same situation. just for ones, think beyond the situation, not everyone can face these challenges with a smile. some might just cry day and night even more end their life with no effort. so, what is worth? accusing them for being weak, label them as non-humanity or just show some concern and you are the ones who light up their day? a moment of rapture is appreciatted. to my dearest friends, i'm sorry if i have ever show an impression of arrogancy. if ever that word came over to your head, have you ever ponder of asking me questions like 'why have i change in my sense of character?' or even 'why have i not talk to you even in greetings?' instead of incriminating me. In the eyes of my friends or even strangers who have seen me during my brighter days, please understand that everyone change and there's always matters that made or forced them to. If you feel like talking or greeting me, please do, dont stop yourself for doing so. the least i'll give you is a smile. you'll make me feel that my existance are recognise. after the problems the world have given us, a thought occur: i am everyone else but i don't want to be part of the world, i'm just a drifter. stuck in-between time, unknown when i'll be set free. trying to grasp each day with an open arms, unknown what i would find along the way. trying to keep an open mind. **praying for the better in me and the people around me.** Amiin. Labels: crying to myself..
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 11:57:00 AM
 to dearest sheerah: Lonely: in need of a friend; call me. empty inbox: leave me a message; i'll flood your inbox. lost: call me; i'll search for you. crapping you down: tell me; ill cheer you up. Left you out: blurt it out to me; ill take you out. but if im busy, leave me a message and i'll reply you as soon as possible. 5 years of unforgettable freindship. Labels: thanks sheerah for the treat.
10:28:00 AM
LEO - The Lion Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun.. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever.. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward
Monday, March 15, 2010 8:50:00 PM
8:41:00 PM
Labels: self confidence
8:37:00 PM
Labels: look deeper at people
8:11:00 PM
7:59:00 PM
7:42:00 PM
Labels: check it out yaw.
Saturday, March 13, 2010 12:18:00 PM
Our Last Year Things we did together shouldn't be forgotten.  Today is the last annual Cross Country for all graduating students. Wow! it was memorable! regina's sister sent shahlis, noh, fazrin, sebastian, rasyidaa, lexuan, evan and shawn to japanese garden. At first, we all wanted to be one of those late comers but it turned out CRAZY! everything was going so slow.. so, when we came, we still had to assemble. we should have went there later. hahaha. After that, we were told to sit in our houses. i sat beside shahlis who were beside afif. i wanted to wish him good luck but i just couldn't. anyway, i thought of not running but ended up i ran with regina. gee. damn it. this year is so NOT my year! i felt like pee-ing when i was running. i had to stop several times and told regina to go ahead without me. arghh! damn it! when i saw the finish line.. i couldnt take it but to sprint my way there. waah! shahlis and friends were like "ehhh ehh water water". haha. i drank a lil and rush my way to the toilet with regina. waah.. what a relief. haha. back to our assemble positions. beside me was afif.. shoot my legs were shivering. self- concious? naah. didnt really care much that moment. all i cared about is what position did he get after the run. khad, afif, irsyad, Faz, hasif, rasyidaa, syikin, bryan: Congrats people! so happy for you guys and girls!! for those who's graduating this year, im really proud that you guys are determine to achieve some awards for memories . especially when this is your last year. :) after cross country, regina, shawn, evan, cynthia, jastine, shahlis, noh, hasif, rasyidaa, fazrin, sebastian, bryan meet up at the nearest playground.the bus were filled up with jyians. shahlis, rasyidaa, hasif, noh and bryan decided to walk. but regina, shawn, evan, cynthia, jastine, sebastian decided to take bus. i was omg. which group should i go with? err. with shawn i guess? shahlis was like ok, we'll see who reached first. we waited for a bus for about half an hour.. right? haha. board the 154 bus. two stops after, shahlis and friends board the same bus as us. haha. upon reaching jp, we decided to eat banquet but instead we went seperate ways. shahlis, hasif, noh, bryan, jastine and cynthia ate at long john silver while regina and others at at sushi restaurant. i went with shahlis but i wasnt hungry. anyway, there's only 5 seats. so, i decided to go home so that faz and the others will have a place to seat and eat. Instead of going home, i decided to hang out with shawn and the rest. it was too early to go home. eeee.. regina and evan played spit in the restaurant. the most unforgettable part was when even spit pearls at regina's hair. hahahahahaha! eee.sticky. haha. After Dinner, we thought of watching movie but all were late at night. so, we decided to go to the park. hahaha. it was fun. it feels as if we were kids once again. i miss those moments. when i did not need to care what others think of me. we took loads of pics. played catching, climb the playground and, etc. that's when bryan came and join us. i taught them how to climb. im so proud of them cause they never gave up. :) haha. glad that everyone had fun. it was dark there. my eyes hurts. random. CRAZY NIGHT random: i saw a rat and screamed like a girl! haha. seldom people hear me scream that way. haha.                  the day that i can act my playful self. thanks to my bestfriend shawn and regina for wanting me to smile with all my heart. thank you guys and im so sorry for being so selfish in being sad and not thinking of how you guys feel. sorry for the worry. thanks to synthia, jastina, sebastian, etc for the care. bryan, thanks for telling me to allow myself to be known to afif but i dont think im ready. anyway, i rather be unknown to him than being known as a weirdo. :) video i took when they were playing ice and water.
Friday, March 12, 2010 1:10:00 AM
Tiring Day .jpg) sleeping soundly in the car was on my way to johore after checking out my "new" house in Yishun. have a problem with a 3-room flat? errr.. yea... im just not use to it, YET! OMG! that house totally need a 100% of renovation. SHIT! god! im so scared to move! anyway, tomorrow cross country la sey!!!! and im still out at night. checkout my Yishun bus stop sign board. FOR FUN! .jpg) this bus stop is three blocks after my flat! awww man! my family is the third owner of that house! woooo... i dont even noe the history of that venue.. SCARY! haha. gosh, does anyone have a cousin or a friend there? near my house flat? hehe. i need a friend to accompany me. :) posted at : 12/3/2010 1:10AM Labels: FURTHER.., nelly natalia is moving soon
Monday, March 8, 2010 1:58:00 PM
Outing With My Brothers .jpg) .jpg)  i had an extraordinary day with my brothers. its been decades seens our last outing. ive missed going out with my brothers. and there we are hanging out, chilling at Vivo. my skin head bro over here ditch work just to hang out with me and my hip hop brother. woohoo! how cool is that? i mean, its not that im encouraging, but just happy that he misses our group outing. haha. so yea, i am so looking forward for the gig next week! its gonna be an awesome experience.. I HOPE! hehe. Labels: a warm and awesome day
Saturday, March 6, 2010 9:08:00 AM
Friday, March 5, 2010 8:56:00 PM
THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CALL MY BROTHER STUPID IS ME!! he just got back home and there he goes shouting like a maniac calling my lil brother stupid. why not calling him stupid infront of my dad! FUCKER! mama. i want to go home. i cant tolerate his nonsense anymore. i swear i never wanted to stay here! yes my lil bro did a mistake but he can just talk right? what the fuck? and this aint the first time he did this. the first time, he scolded me without any reason. he blamed me for taking his charger. FUCK! whenever im at this fucking home, i always stayed in this fucking room. how the hell am i suppose to take your fucking charger thats in your room without getting out of this room. end up, it was his own daughter who took it! i wish im out of this place now. i want to get out of here!!!! pls!!! help! anyone? Labels: if killing myself aint wrong.. i would have already done it.
8:27:00 PM
WHY? questions with no answers. why did i ever prevent myself to have fun? why did i ever allow myself to be sad? why do i have to cry everyday without fail while actually i should be happy? why do i feel this way? i have friends who cares. family who loves me and teachers who's concern about me, but why haven't i find any happiness in life? SHAWN, im sorry, you never know. no matter what, you will always be my bestfriend. i miss the days when we really had fun. REGINA AND OTHERS, thanks for trying to makeme happy. i appreciate it alot. Labels: a girl who's trap in a cage.
3:30:00 PM
Emotional Day Today wouldn't happen if you hadn't wrote my name in the list. JERK! "Nelly! Your name is in the 1500m and 800m participant category!" shahlis shouted from far. I shook my head in disbelief. how could hafiz do this to me? what ever have i done to hurt him? i told him not to write my name. so, why did he still do it?? when i checked the list ones again, a wave of emotions swept over me. i really didn't want to run. seriously! why does he have to force me?? mr. chong came along and asked whether im in any of the event. i replied with "im not sure". he checked and was like.. "neh. your name". GOD! i wasn"t prepared la sia!!! i told mr. chong that i didnt want to run. i was force to and he was like it ok just run.! he told me that if i never run, he will give me lots of essays for history. yea i dont mind! after that i walked away. i weeped behind the vending machine while noh and hasif tried to console me. i really didnt want to run! After that, i told shahlis, syidah, syidaa, farihah, shawn and fazrin what happened. All of my friends were like," no need run ah nelly, if you dont want to. dont force yourself." they think about the essay were really nonsense. As we walked up to 4T1 classroom, i was uncertain about going for the event. at 4pm i decided to just go. BANG! "NELLY HIDE!! MR CHONG IS LOOKING FO YOU!" evan blurted. I was near hysteria. my mind went blank. what should i do? instead, i called for shahlis but shahlis was like "go la! go la!" with attitude. i kept in silence and walked to the toilet. before i can even entered the toilet, " NELLY!". I was puzzled! my head was like, where's my friends when i need them? i shivered in fright. mr chong asked me why arent i at the stadium. i told him that i had to go for ASPRO. he was like but your event is starting in a few secs. i cried. why isnt anyone beside me? i walked past mr chong and told him lets go. i was going to go anyway. he asked me to stop and asked me where was i going. i was like to the stadium. where else? he was like you're late and now i want to drive you there. shahlis and syidaa was behind mr chong. mr chong turned and shouted at them, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" i didnt know what to do. so i just walked down to the canteen. Mr lian, desiree and Elizabeth(almost all teachers knew about it. dang it!) knew about it when mr chong told them. i sobbed. a girl and i went into his car and as he drove us there, he asked me alot of questions. i just shooked my head as i wept sorrowfully. mr chong said that he's not angry with me. i wasn't either. im angry towards hafiz! alighted at the carpark of the stadium. i was sobbing my way there. teachers and friends started to come to me but i ignored them. it was then time for the 800m run and i was in need of a friend. nelly, is that faz,noh and hasif? syikin asked. i looked and muttered a prayer of thanks. while i was running, the felt of devastation was burning my head. i couldnt run any faster. i was thinking too much. After that, i cried in the toilet again and text my dad while getting out of the toilet. mr chong approached me and ask why was i still crying. obviously i cant get over things in one day OR TWO! mr chong told me that he ain't angry with me and i have always been his best student. i told him that i dont like the fact that hafiz didnt tell me earlier about me being the participant. its unfair for me. im sec five and i have ASPRO. yea there's express students who's taking o'level but im slower than them. a few mins after that, shahlis came. SHOCKING MUCH!! was glad too. shahlis was like. hey i bring energy for you and asked me to turn but i wasnt sure what he was talking about. but when miss qoo wanna talk to me, i stood up and i saw afif. well, it was shocking when shahlis told me that he felt guilty to leave me alone and decide to bring afif along to cheer me up. thanks yea you guys?? SYIDAA hey pretty gal. shahlis told meabout you stood up for me and i really want to thank you. i dont regret to have you as my friend. i will aways remember today! thank you!!!!! i appreciate it. NOH, FAZ, HASIF hey guys. thanks for suporting me and cheering for me during the run. i really needed it. although i still am sorry if i didnt gave my bestest. im so sorry. and hasif thanks for making me laugh yesterday. hahaha. FUNNY! SHAHLIS yo! thanks banyak ah boy! for standing up for me, being there to cheer for me and bringing my energy. hahaha. i appreciate it. thanks alot sia. shocking babe. hhaaahha. GRACE, SYIDAH thanks girls for talking to miss c. about this. i appreciate it alot. i really shows that you girls care. thank you so much! EVAN, SHAHIDAH hey both of you. thanks so much for the alert about mr. chong's approach. and trying to help me to run away but i guess it wasnt my day to get away from a problem. thank you so much. AFIF thanks for being there to support me. although i still feel bad for not running when you guys already wearily came all the way from home to the stadium. sorry but i still appreciate what you've done. HAPHEEZ, ZAI, JASTINE, FARIHAH, ETC. thanks too aye?????? i appreciate it a lot!! you ppl tried to make me happy and im happy bacause of that. :) TO ALL THAT TRIED TO CONSOLE ME I appreciate it alot. and i want to thank you ppl alot for being there for me. having you guys to stand by me is already enough. thank you. Labels: A chaotic day but still im touched by my friends love.
2:27:00 PM
Submitted by mohammad waqas raja (Pakistan), Jan 15, 2008 at 02:42 Before we discuss ‘the concept of God in Christianity', I would like to make a few points clear. Islam is the only Non-Christian faith, which makes it an article of faith to believe in Jesus (peace be upon him). No Muslim, is ‘a Muslim' if he does not believe in Jesus (peace be upon him). We believe that he was one of the mightiest messengers of Allah Subhana Wa Taalah - of Almighty God. We believe that he was born miraculously, without any male intervention, which many modern day Christians do not believe. We believe that he gave life to the dead with God's permission. We believe that he healed those born blind, and lepers with God's permission. The Christians and Muslims, we are going together hand in hand, but there are parting of ways. There are many Christians who say that ‘Jesus Christ (peace be upon him), he was Almighty God, he himself claimed Divinity'. Infact, if you read the Bible, there is not a single uneqvivocable statement in the whole Bible, where Jesus (peace be upon him) himself says, that ‘I am God', or where he says ‘Worship me'. I would like to repeat that statement that there is not a single uneqvivocable statement in the complete Bible, where Jesus (peace be upon him) himself says that… ‘I am God' or, where he says… ‘Worship me'. Infact if you read the Bible it is mentioned in the Gospel of John, Ch.No. 14, V.No.28, Jesus (peace be upon him) said – ‘My Father is greater than I' In the Gospel of John, Ch. No.10, V.No. 29 ‘My father is greater than all'. In the Gospel of Mathew Ch.No.12 V.No.28 "I cast out devil with Sprit of God'. Gospel of Luke, Ch. No. 11 V.No.20 "I with the finger of God, cast out devils'. Gospel of John, Ch.No.5 V.No.30 ‘I can of my own self do nothing - as I hear I judge, and my judgement is just, because I seek not my will, but the will of thy Father, who has sent me'. He never claimed Divinity. Infact he came to testify the pervious law. And he mentions in the Gospel of Mathew Ch.5 V.17 to Verse No. 20, ‘Think not that I am come to destroy the law and the Prophets - I am come not to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, till the heaven and earth pass, one jot or one title shall not pass away from the law, untill all be fulfilled. And whosoever therefore, shall break one of the least commandments and teach men to do so, will be called least in the Kingdom of Heaven. And whosoever shall keep them, and teach them so, the same shall be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven. For verily, unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the Scribes and the Pharasees, in no way shall you enter the Kingdom of Heaven. So Jesus Christ (peace be upon him) said, ‘that If you people want to enter Heaven, you have to keep each and every commandment of Prophet Moses (peace be upon him). You have to follow each and every law given in the Old Testament, including the verses I quoted earlier that ‘there is one God, and you should not do idol worship, you should not make any graven image of Him'. Jesus (peace be upon him), he never said that he was God. Infact he said ‘He was sent by God. He was a Prophet of God'. It is mentioned in the Gospel of John, Ch.No. 14, V.No.24, ‘The words that you hear, are not mine, but it is my Father's, who has sent me'. Gospel of John, Ch.No. 17, V.No.3 ‘This is eternal life, so that you may know there is one true God, and Jesus Christ, who Thou has sent'. And it is mentioned in the Gospel of Mathew, Ch.No.19, V.No.16 and 17, that one of the persons approaches Jesus (pbuh), and says ‘Good Master, what good things shall I do, that I shall attain eternal life'. Jesus (peace be upon him) replies in V.No.17 of Gospel of Mathew, Ch.No.19 – ‘And Jesus said upto him, ‘Why thou callest me good? For there is none good, except One, that is God – And if you want to enter life, keep the commandments'. Jesus (peace be upon him) never said that if you want to go to heaven, you consider me as Almighty God. He never said that you believe that I will die for your sins – In fact he said, ‘You keep the commandments'. It is further mentioned in the book of Acts, Ch.No. 2 V.No.22 "O men of Israel, hear this, Jesus of Nazareth, a man approved by God, amongst you, by miracles, and wonders and signs, which God did by him, in your presence, and you were witness'. It says, ‘Jesus of Nazareth a man approved by God, by miracles and wonders, which God did by him'. And when Jesus (peace be upon him) was asked, that ‘which is the first of the commandments'? he repeated verbitem what was said earlier by Moses (peace be upon him). It is mentioned in the Gospel of Mark, Ch. No. 12, V.No. 29, he said ‘Shama Israelo, Ada Ilahaino Ada Ihad' It is a Hebrew quotation which means, ‘Hear Oh Israel, the Lord our God, is in one lord'. So if you read the Bible, you will understand the concept of God, in Christianity. It reminds me of an incident where Maulana Rahmatullah Karanvi - he was having a discussion with a Christian missionary, who was trying to prove to Maulana Shahib that ‘Jesus Christ (peace be upon him) is God Almighty, and that Jesus (peace be upon him) died for the sins of human beings'. After a great deal of time, without any results, the discussion was continued. Later on, the servant of Maulana Shahib, he comes and whispers something in the Maulana's ears. The Maulana's face becomes sad - he starts crying. The Christian missionary asks, ‘Maulana Shahib, ‘what is the bad news?'. The Maulana Shahib said in a very sad tone, ‘My servant, he just gave me information, - he brought news, that Arch Angel Gabriel - he died'. The Christian missionary began to laugh loudly. ‘Maulana Shahib, you being such an intelligent person, how can you believe in such absurd things - Can Angels die?' The Maulana Shahib said, ‘When God can die, why can't Angels die?' And the Christian missionary, without speaking a single word, he left – It is a battle of wits. Labels: no offence
Thursday, March 4, 2010 12:58:00 AM
NELLY DAY?? gee.. went well. hahaha. sacarstic much!! Thanks for correcting my english hapheez. REGINA!! CHEER UP!! I MISS YOUR SMILE!! Labels: ups and downs day. weird.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 2:27:00 AM
Giving Up Hope Am i the only one who feels as if there's no hope for me to achieve the better for academics? It's tough for me to concentrate when i feel that my family are being inconsiderate when i want to study. Even if i study at Mac GP, i wasn't concentrating on my work 100%. Matter of fact, i was 40% destracted. i don't know why i hate going to the library to study. i think its bacause of the tense atmosphere. gosh. even more, if i do study in school, i'll be 80% destracted!! god help me. im feeling so down. this year is a total down pour in all i do. what is the matter with me? failing my common test? gosh. That never happen until now! Im so depress! i want to go home!!!!!! sobs. my life feels so empty right now. Im still making the decision whether to drop out of school. if i drop out, will i ever regret it? if i don't, can i handle it? oh god, please show me some sign. i can't make my own decisions! Friend Or Foe? i regret to leave our fiendship dangled around, you could have been here for me. i'm disappointed when she told me that you told her about my problems. you should know that my relationship with her isnt that good since sec 3. i apprciate that youre trying to help me in a way but it was logical enough to tell that my problem cannot be helped. in fact she made it worse! i dont hate her alright but i just hate her attitude. somtimes, im not even sure whether she meant her sayings. im not even sure whether she's sincered in what she do. although i tried so hard to forgive her! Should I Forget About You? you've been there for me. To be honest, you've always been there for me but since you left school, you dont have time for me and you know you're my closest friend that i could depend on to shred my tears and happiness. what im facing now is already enough to disapoint myself but when she came into my life, she got closer to you everyday after knowing that im close to you this sorrow worsen. Moreover, you told her my situation. how do i feel? i understand you're not sure of what's happening. and i know im being unfair to just judge things the way it is without telling you how i feel but i tried telling you. the way you reply me seem to show me that you dont care anymore. i'm so disappointed in you man. Labels: giving up hope.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 6:07:00 PM
WOO! sleeping beauty just woke up la sey.. O.o. Haha. Something interesting happen today... Ooooo.. Nelly got last for her eng paper. Ahaha. Seriously. What a bumer. But who cares. Anyway, shahlis said syidaa's the highest and im lowest. Hahahaha. It was quite a joke. Ahahhahaha. But i pretended to 'merajok' gee.. Lol. But before i could even went back to shahlis all, my hp was vibrating. My dad called. He picked me up from school coz i decided not to go for sc class. Too tired......... Sleepy. (yawn) mulot besar sey. Busok!
1:45:00 AM
During running session .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) the day thatregina almost cried for trying to go the shorter route. BAD IDEA!! hahaha. check my pic with shahlis! ignore his face look at my eyes!! loving it! ahhaha. Labels: PE day
1:38:00 AM
Chemistry practical class .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) WOW! i never thought tat 5A2 could be this cooperative. ESPECIALLY, during chem!! hahahaa. trust me. mdm hoo talk crap sometimes. shahlis, i want you to write......STUPID! hahaha. anyway. it was a dry day. TOTALLY! i noe this is random.. but i dont noe what to update! Labels: busy day |
Yours truly, |
